She grew up in the Lower Rhine region, in a family with liberal views. In she went to the secondary school, St. Wolfhelm Gymnasium, in the neighbouring town of Schwalmtal. She left school after the 11th grade, at the age of She obtained initial stage experience in drama groups during her time at school. The band never released an album, nor recorded any material, nor notably performed anywhere.

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We can call this the Palahniuk Principle. The thing is, though, these books seldom actually are important. Being sexual without being sexy is not Oh my good God.

There really is no way that I can describe to you the lengths to which the 18 year-old Helen will to prove that she understands - and thus enjoys- sex far better than anyone who preceded her on this earth. And, I can offer you the following guidelines: Do not read this book if: 1.

You are ill - this book is not soothing, it will not make you feel better. This goes double if you are sad. You are eating - seriously. You will not want anything to enter your body in any capacity while you are reading this book.

You equate promiscuity with feminism - Yeah, this book is not going to help un-muddy those waters for you. You are thinking about getting a divorce - Helen pretty clearly seems to think all her problems would be solved if only her parents would get back together; so, unless you want your daughter to end up disgusting, you will make that relationship work.

On the other hand, there are a couple of good reasons a person might want to read this book: 1. And your kids are not perfect. Something that has endured, so you know it will stand up to whatever vile things Wetlands throws at it. This is why I spent the whole book thinking "You know, I should really read Proust ". And, of course, I will let you know how that goes.


And she seems like such a nice girl...

Plot[ edit ] Set in an anonymous German city, Wetlands is told by year-old Helen Memel, a schoolgirl who spends some days in the proctological ward of a hospital to be treated for an anal fissure caused by the careless shaving of her anal hair. Her secret plan is to reunite her father and mother by having them visit her at the same time. When she learns that her surgery, which included the removal of haemorrhoids , has been successful and she is going to be released soon, she desperately looks for means to prolong her hospital stay. She secretly rams the pedal of her hospital bed into her anus and immediate emergency surgery has to be carried out to prevent extreme blood loss. Thus having successfully extended her stay, she waits in vain for her miracle to happen: her parents have stopped visiting altogether, and when she tries to contact them by phone all she gets is their respective answering machines. During this time she falls in love with her favourite male nurse called Robin and tries to draw the young man into her world. At the end of the novel the doctor tells Helen she can go home and she asks Robin if she can go live with him.



Often, she is wearing puff-sleeves. Do not be misled. The opening sentence concerns haemorrhoids: it is relatively tame. By page two, the heroine is reminiscing about anal sex.


Charlotte Roche


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